


Science gone wrong (or right?) AKA Theo's Boobs

by awesomerosie



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: And Mason's a badass, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Humor, Liam's a great boyfriend, M/M, Theo's a snarky asshole, as per usual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-15 17:18:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13618011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomerosie/pseuds/awesomerosie
Summary: Liam was not prepared for the sight of Theo with boobs, but really, would anyone be? This was definitely not how he wanted to spend his weekend.





	Science gone wrong (or right?) AKA Theo's Boobs

**Author's Note:**

> Spawned from my brain waking me up to ask, "what if Theo had boobs, like, magically?"
> 
> Thank you to PhantomFlutist for editing and encouraging on the way through this shit show.

Liam rolled over in bed, resting a hand on the body next to him and carefully guiding it over his favorite parts. A slim waist gave way to perfect abs, and then up to squishy pecs. Wait. Theo's pecs have never been squishy. As far as Liam knew, Theo was born with rock hard pecs. What the hell was going on?

 

Liam grabbed Theo by the shoulder, forcing him onto his back, throwing a leg over to straddle him. He cupped a boob in each hand, enjoying the way they bounced in his palms. They were nicely sized, probably a D cup, Liam mused.

 

“I didn’t think molesting people in their sleep was your kind of thing.”

 

Liam startled. “What? I-” His gaze lingered on the boobs a moment longer before he jerked his hands away.

 

“While I appreciate your enthusiasm, I am too tired for this right now.” Theo shoved Liam back onto his side of the bed, rolled back over, and pulled the covers up to his shoulders.

 

Liam stared at him, flabbergasted. “You’re just going to go back to sleep?”

 

“It is 5AM and I don’t have to go to work for another four hours, so fuck yes, I’m going back to sleep.”

 

Liam lay restless, unable to rid his mind of the image of Theo with boobs. That could not be happening right? He was just dreaming. Maybe if he just closed his eyes everything would go back to normal.

 

 

 

Liam had dozed off. He awoke to the feeling of Theo getting out of bed. He heard the bathroom door close and the shower turn on. He sunk back into the bed, satisfied that everything was fine.

 

 

 

 

Liam had forgotten to open his eyes when Theo got up. He had just assumed everything was fine because Theo was acting normal. Nothing was fine!

 

The bathroom door clicked open and Liam sat up in the bed. His jaw dropped when he saw blobs of flesh sitting on his boyfriend’s chest. He watched Theo walk over to the closet, rummage through the drawers, and then sigh when he seemingly couldn’t find something.

 

“Dammit,” Theo mumbled under his breath. He glanced over to the bed. “Oh good, you’re awake. We need to go shopping.”

 

“What? Why?” Liam squeaked.

 

“I left all my bras in the tunnels, they’re probably in rat nests at this point. I need to get some new ones. Are you coming or not?”

 

Liam nodded his head in disbelief, jaw still slack.

  
  
  


 

The ride to the store was quiet. Liam was unsure of how to bring up the elephant in the car, and Theo felt no need to explain, apparently. The quiet lasted until they entered the parking lot.

 

“Why are you so jittery?” Theo asked, concern and annoyance filling the cab.

 

“You have boobs!” Liam blurted out.

 

Theo looked at him incredulously, pulling into a parking spot. “That's it? That's what you're freaking out about?”

 

They both got out and made their way to the entrance.

 

Liam all but shouted his next sentences, “What do you mean, ‘that's it’? Should I not be surprised by you sprouting boobs?”

 

Theo picked out a cart from the corral. “I thought you knew my body was fucked up,” he said, wandering toward the women's clothing.

 

Liam followed behind him like a lost puppy. “I didn't realise it was ‘sudden sex change’ fucked up!”

 

Theo looked at Liam and winked. “My dick is still intact.” He turned away, shuffling through the aisles. He pulled a pack of sports bras off the rack.

 

“Aren’t you supposed to wear the ones with a clasp at the back?” Liam asked, confused.

 

“And have my boobs stick out more? Do you want everyone we know to oggle my chest?” Theo asked, heading to the grocery section.

 

Liam’s eyes widened. He had not thought of that. They had a pack meeting tonight. Would they notice the change? Did some of them already know? 

 

“Besides, I refuse to spend forty bucks on an uncomfortable boob cage that I will only wear a dozen times a year.” 

 

Liam couldn’t decide if he was relieved or disappointed by this. He liked the lacey bras that Hayden used to wear, but would it have the same effect if it were Theo? Too lost in his thoughts, he didn’t notice he had stopped moving.

 

Theo turned around and sauntered back to Liam. “Unless you want to see me in a lace bra, Liam.” he purred into Liam’s ear. “Should I wear it while I’m pounding you into the mattress? Why don’t we get some matching panties to finish off the look?” Theo pulled back, smirking at the bulge in Liam's pants. “Looks like I’ve finally found your fetish.” At that he went back to his cart and turned into the coffee aisle.

 

Liam waddled after him, wishing to everything holy to rid his mind of that image. He did not need that in his mind all day.

  
  
  


 

For the most part, Liam had managed to stay focused on his lectures. Art History was torture though. They just had to be going through ‘women in art’ this week. Every painting had a naked boob sticking out somewhere. Why were artists so fascinated by them? Did they hold secrets he didn’t know about? Endless amounts of boobs made his head spin, worsened by his brain replacing their faces with Theo’s. When the professor finally released them, Liam was exhausted.

 

He mindlessly walked to the university library. When he walked in he spotted Theo behind the desk checking some girl’s books out. How had he forgotten Theo was working today? He scurried to a table in the cafe to his right, dropping his bag and making it look like he was using his phone.

 

The girl at the desk seemed to be flirting with Theo, a very ill-advised move on her part. She was so obvious about it, sticking her chest out at him and everything. Please lady, his tits were better. Liam would be pissed if not for how funny it looked. He focused his hearing on them.

 

_ “I love the oversized sweatshirt look. You look so cute. Though I do miss the skin tight shirts,”  _ she said, batting her eyelashes.

 

_ “I was feeling comfy today,”  _ Theo responded, polite customer-service face plastered on. _ “Would you like a printed receipt?” _

 

_ “Oh, no, thank you,”  _ she mumbled, waving her hand. She picked up her books, pocketing them in the crook of her arm. She met Theo’s eyes again, her own filled with determination,  _ “I would like to go out to dinner with you...if you want to.”  _ Her sentence drifted off awkwardly.

 

‘She thought Theo hadn’t gotten the hint. This poor girl,’ Liam thought to himself.

 

_ “Sorry, I’m married,”  _ Theo told her, his face turning fakely apologetic.

 

_ “You aren’t wearing a ring,”  _ she countered.

 

_ “I must have forgotten it on the kitchen counter this morning. Didn’t want it to get lost in the cinnamon roll dough.” _

 

The disappointment in her face grew. She whipped around and walked straight out of the building.

 

Theo looked around the room. When he spotted Liam he leaned on the counter and stared him down.  _ “Hello, Darling.” _

 

Liam rolled his eyes. “You enjoy crushing people a little too much.”

 

Theo smirked at that.  _ “Only when you’re watching. Are you going to continue talking to me from over there or are you going to come give me a kiss?” _

 

Liam huffed, but went over anyway. He walked behind the counter, going to wrap his arms around his lover. He startled when their chests connected sooner than he was used to, momentarily forgetting about the extra weight on Theo’s.

 

The boobs jiggled slightly as Theo laughed. “Did my tits just scare you?”

 

“No, nothing happened, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Liam rambled, looking anywhere but Theo’s face.

 

Theo moved in, giving him a very loving kiss. “You’re adorable. Makes me want to smother you in my bosom.”

 

Liam stared horrified as Theo cackled, drawing looks from several people. “Don’t even joke about that, man. My grandfather died of boob inhalation,” Liam said as seriously as he could.

 

They stared each other down for a moment before cracking up into fits of laughter.

 

“Whenever you two are finished with your little love fest I’d like to check out some books.”

 

Mason stood on the other side of the counter glaring playfully at them. “Besides, Liam should really head to class.”

 

Liam glanced up at the wall clock, eyes widening when he realised he had eight minutes to get across campus. He was definitely going to be late. He pecked Theo on the check, grabbed his bag from the cafe floor, and practically ran out the door, but not before he heard the beginning of an awkward conversation.

 

_ “How long were you standing there?”  _ Theo asked nervously.

 

_ “Longer than I want to admit. Why do you have breasts?” _

  
  
  


 

It was Theo and Liam’s turn to bring dessert to the pack meeting. They had gone to the bakery near campus on their way home. They heard heartbeats and chatter in the hallway before they saw the small group of people standing outside their door.

 

Scott immediately went over to hug Liam, baked goods and beverages be damned. “It’s so good to see you. What took you so long?”

 

“Theo was being indecisive about the pastries.”

 

Theo looked embarrassed, “They all looked delicious and you know I can never say no to that little old lady.”

 

“I enjoy the adorable banter, but could we do this inside, carrying fewer things, maybe?” Mason pleaded, arms heavy laden with bags of food.

 

“Right!” Liam hurried to unlock the apartment, stepping aside to let everyone in.

 

Theo smiled at him on his way in. Probably forgiveness for ratting him out.

 

The one bedroom was crowded with seven people in it, but no one seemed to care. They managed to cram four people on the oversized loveseat; it was kind of impressive.

 

Liam made himself busy by setting out food. Apparently, they had every type of food known to man. There were tacos, several chinese dishes, spaghetti, and a rotisserie chicken. Thankfully, someone had brought veggie and fruit platters – probably Lydia. She was the reason none of them had died of scurvy.

 

Theo came up next to Liam, placing plates and glasses on the end of the island.

 

“Do you think we have enough food?” Liam asked.

 

“No, I think we should call out for pizza,” Theo responded sarcastically.

 

How did he forget about pizza? Liam glanced around, feeling like he’d forgotten something. He turned around to see Theo stuffing half a cinnamon roll in his mouth.

 

“Hey, those are for dessert!”

 

“Why wait when I could die before then?” The sentence would have felt deep if he hadn’t said it through a mouthful of pastry.

 

Liam grumbled, but let him be. He went over to the living room (a three foot distance from the kitchen) to call the pack to dinner.

 

Malia and Scott rushed to the counter first. Mason gestured for Lydia to go ahead of him and Corey, and Derek hung back near Liam.

 

Derek and Liam watched as the others piled their plates full. “Is something wrong with Theo?” Derek asked quietly.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I can’t put my finger on it, but he seems softer than usual. Did something happen?”

 

He knew. He knew everything. Of course Derek was the first to figure it out. He had some stupid sixth sense for weird shit happening. “I don’t know what you mean.” It was a complete lie and everyone knew it. Even Malia, the ever oblivious, looked up from her mound of food to look at him quizzically.

 

Derek smiled at him like Liam was an adorable little puppy. “I’ll take that as a yes then,” he said, sauntering over to the food.

 

Theo glared at Derek’s back. His gaze moved to Liam. He jerked his head towards the bedroom door.

 

Liam hated that movement. That meant he was going to get a stern talking to. Sometimes Liam felt like he was talking to his dad instead of his boyfriend. Why couldn’t it wait? The food was still warm. He sighed and dragged his feet into the bedroom behind Theo.

 

Theo crossed his arms. He spoke almost silently. “What did he ask you?”

 

Liam hung his head, leveling his voice to match. “He asked if something was wrong with you.”

 

“And your response?”

 

“I don’t know what you mean.”

 

“That’s it? That’s all he asked?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“You know you’re a terrible liar. Why do you even bother?”

 

“Look, I didn’t tell anyone about your boobs okay, so we’re fine.”

 

They heard a screech of laughter coming from the living room. 

 

“THEO HAS BOOBS!” Scott screamed, fading into a bubble of giggles.

 

Theo scrubbed his hand down his face. “Remind me to never tell you anything ever again,” he sighed, exiting the room with Liam following close behind.

 

Scott and Malia were collapsed on the floor in a fit of giggles. The sight of Theo seething with anger set them off into another bout of laughter.

 

“Would you shut the fuck up? It’s not that funny.”

 

Lydia was looking at him with pity in her eyes. “I’m sorry dear, but it’s really quite funny.”

 

“Can we see them?” Malia giggled.

 

“No.”

 

“Aw man, come on, you run around naked all the time.”

 

Liam draped his arm around Theo’s waist.

 

“Still no.”

 

“How does it happen?” Derek piped up from the armchair. Finally, a reasonable question.

 

“It occurs randomly. I go to sleep one night and wake up with some extra padding.”

 

Mason sat up straighter, clearly intrigued. “What causes it?”

 

“The Dread Doctors never pinpointed the direct cause. They narrowed it down to either a hormonal imbalance from an outside source making my healing overcompensate, or the run in I had with a fairy.”

 

“Did anyone else have this happen?” Theo tensed at this.

 

Liam stroked his thumb along Theo’s hip soothingly.

 

“None that I know of, but they all died too soon to tell.”

 

The room fell silent, the mood darkening.

 

Corey bravely broke the silence. “How long does it last?”

 

Liam hadn’t thought to ask that question.

 

“Less than a week generally.”

 

A week. Liam was going to have to deal with boobilicious Theo for a week?! He was never going to survive that.

 

Malia picked herself up from the floor, dropping back into her spot on the couch. “Sounds like he’s menstruating.”

 

All the guys looked at her in horror.

 

“Malia, are you having irregular periods?” Lydia asked, concerned.

 

“What? No.”

 

Mason’s head whipped back to Theo. “You don’t sprout a vagina too, do you?”

 

“Ew, how would that even work?”

 

“I don’t know, but biology doesn’t make any sense anymore!”

 

The pack stared at Theo, waiting for an answer.

 

“No, I do not have a vag. Stop looking at me like that.” Theo exclaimed, leaning into Liam’s touch.

 

“There he goes again acting soft,” Derek muttered.

 

Mason’s eyes widened and then squinted at Theo. “You’re right. I caught him and Liam being disgustingly cute at the library, and even when he threatened me to keep my mouth shut it wasn’t very menacing.”

 

“That means it’s affecting his brain too,” Lydia chimed in.

 

Theo was back to angry at this point. “There is nothing wrong with me,” he growled.

 

Scott stood from the floor quickly, raising his hands flat in front of him. “Whoa there buddy, no one said there was anything wrong with you. We just want to help, okay?”

 

Theo visibly simmered down looking into Scott’s eyes. Only Liam knew it was a facade. Liam rubbed his hand along Theo’s spine.

 

“Can we discuss this later? Theo’s got everything under control and I’m hungry,” Liam said as cheerfully as he could manage with the tense chimera next to him.

 

Theo forced himself away from the staring contest. “Food. That’d be good.”

 

“Right, of course,” Scott said gently, sitting himself on the arm of the couch, eager to diffuse the situation before it arises. 

 

Liam guided Theo to the counter with the hand still resting on his lower back. The food was mostly cold by now, but it was good nonetheless. Liam sat on the floor between Scott and Theo, who was trying to hide between the armchair and the wall. They had sat there chatting for a few minutes when Liam felt something push under his leg. He looked down to see Theo’s socked feet tucked under his ass. He looked at Theo’s face, but didn’t say anything.

  
  
  


 

Halfway through the night the antics were getting more ridiculous. Aside from the Twister match and the exhausting game of Simon Says, having five canine were-creatures in a small apartment was too much for one air conditioner to handle.

 

Without thinking, Theo pulled off his sweatshirt, wiping his face with it before throwing it in the bathroom hamper. He returned to his place on the floor, only then noticing how many eyes were on him. He looked around the room in confusion, then followed their gaze down to his chest. He had cleavage.

 

“Oh for fucks sake!” he yelled, bringing his hand up to cover himself. “Really guys? No one stares at Lydia’s cleavage.”

 

“It’s just so unexpected. Your face says snarky asshole, but your chest says soft and squishy,” Scott breathed out, looking lost.

 

“Thanks, great to know what you think of me.”

 

“To be fair, your face does scream snarky asshole most of the time.”

 

Theo facepalmed with the hand previously covering his chest. “Wow Liam, not helping. You’re supposed to be on my side.”

 

“You’re a very handsome snarky asshole,” Liam supplied helpfully.

 

Theo sighed, realising he was not going to get anywhere with this. He looked back up at the rest of the room. Everyone’s eyes were still zeroed in on his boobs. “You don’t have to stare so intently. They aren’t going to come flying off and hit you in the face or something.”

 

Mason frowned. “This is the first time I’ve been interested in boobs, and I still don’t understand the fascination.”

 

“That’s okay honey, us straight women don’t understand it either.”

 

Theo got fed up with the attention, silently wishing he had Corey’s power so he could disappear. Maybe if he put on a different shirt. He rose from the floor, picking his way through the people and games lying about the living room, making his way to the other room. The feeling of eyes watching followed him through the room, only stopping when he closed the bedroom door. He let out a breath, hoping the rest of the pack got over this soon.

 

_ “Do you think we could get him in a dress?”  _ he heard Scott’s muffled voice say through the door.

 

_ “Why?” _

 

_ “Because I think he’d look good in one. Maybe one of the wrap dresses with the tie under the bust.”  _ Scott replied, earnestly.

 

Theo replaced his tank top with a higher cut t-shirt.

 

_ “You just want to oggle his boobs some more, don’t you?”  _ A beat of silence and then a smack, followed by Scott groaning in pain.  _ “Quit ogling my boyfriend!”  _ Theo felt a surge of pride listening to Liam defend his honor. He flopped face first onto the bed, not wanting to rejoin the gathering. He nuzzled into Liam’s pillow, letting the rumble of banter lull him to sleep.

  
  
  


 

Sometime past midnight, the last of the guests were about to leave. Corey and Mason, the only ones left, stopped at the door.

 

Corey spoke first. “Tell Theo we’re sorry. We shouldn’t have stared at him like that.”

 

Mason smiled apologetically. “Yeah, we didn’t know it would affect him so much. We hid away some of the sweets in the microwave, thought it might make him feel better.”

 

Liam smiled full wattage at them. “Thanks guys, that means a lot.” He hugged them both before they left.

 

He walked to the microwave, opening it to reveal a small, clear tupperware container. Baklava and cinnamon rolls, Theo’s favorites. His friends were the best.

 

The place was a mess, dishes and party games strewn everywhere. He should clean up, at least a little bit, but Theo had gone to their room over an hour ago. Eventually, his concern for Theo won over his fear of ants. They could clean it tomorrow.

 

Liam peeked in the crack of the door. The light was on, but Theo’s breathing sounded like he was asleep. After turning off the lights in the apartment, he crept into the bedroom. He took off his clothes and crawled into bed, or what little Theo had left him.

 

“Babe, move the fuck over, you’re taking up the whole bed.”

 

Theo grunted and shifted a few inches to the left, still clutching Liam’s pillow to his chest.

 

Liam sighed, mourning the loss. He shifted further away from the edge, leg brushing against denim. “Do you really plan on spending all night in those jeans?”

 

“They make my ass look fantastic,” came the muffled response.

 

“No one cares about your ass right now,” Liam said with an eye roll. He shoved his arm under Theo, attempting to reach the fly of his pants. Unfortunately, his bed partner refused to move and his hand got stuck. “Great, now my hand’s going to fall asleep.”

 

“I wish the rest of you would too.”

 

“Just take your pants off. Then I’ll go to sleep and I’ll even let you cuddle me, instead of the pillow that smells like me.”

 

Theo huffed as he flopped like a fish trying and failing to release himself from the denim prison. Pants around his knees, he turned sad eyes Liam.

“That was fucking sad to watch,” Liam told him, kneeling and yanking the legs the rest of the way off. He grabbed the comforter that was falling off the end of the bed before flopping back down next to Theo.

 

Theo curled himself into Liam’s body heat, contented sigh escaping his throat.

 

Liam had forgotten how weird boobs felt against his body. It was giving him flashbacks to his time with Hayden. But the smell of Theo brought him back with every breath. He fell asleep assured that he would get used to the boobs eventually, because they were Theo’s.

  
  
  


 

Liam thought day two would be easier. Saturday was their couple time. It was the only day neither of them had to be anywhere. Usually, it was spent watching movies on the couch and eating leftovers from the fridge. So far, the day was fleshing out as a disaster.

 

Liam couldn’t breathe. A pile of squish mushed his nose against his face. Nevermind, he could never get used to boobs. At some point Theo had rolled on top of him, successfully ‘smothering him in his bosom.’ With one hand trapped beneath Theo’s hip he was having difficulty pushing him off.

 

“Fub ob.” Liam had attempted to say ‘fuck off,’ but such a feat is very hard to do with a mouth full of boob. How was Theo comfortable like this anyway?

 

Liam jabbed a finger into Theo’s side. No response. The finger trailed along Theo’s side and up to his cheek, finally getting a response.

 

Theo groaned. “What? What do you want?” He opened his eyes and looked down. His eyes flew open in shock. “Shit, fuck, I’m so sorry!” He scrambled to get off of Liam’s face.

 

Liam gasped for air. His nose and lungs stung from the abuse.

 

“Shit, are you okay?” Theo’s eyes were frantic, watching Liam breathe heavily.

 

“Fuckin’ tits! You could’a killed me with those things, man!”

 

“I’m sorry! I didn’t realise they were in your face!”

 

Liam stared at him, mouth open, breathing starting to even out. “How were you even asleep like that? Your head was upside down!”

 

“That is not the weirdest position I’ve slept in.”

 

Liam was about to ask when his phone rang. He reached for it, but the bedside table was too far away from the spot he was laying.

 

Theo rolled his eyes and leaned over him to get it, boobs grazing Liam’s face.

 

Liam spluttered, sitting up hastily to get away.

 

With a chuckle, Theo answered the phone. “Hey Mason, what’s up?”

 

There was shuffling and then Mason’s voice. _ “Hey, wasn’t sure if you were awake. So, I’ve been looking through the Dread Doctor’s notes-” _

 

“You brought those to university with you?”

 

_ “I thirst for knowledge.” _

 

“And men,” Liam shouted, making Theo laugh. They heard Corey chuckle on the other end.

 

_ “Anyway, Liam,” _ Mason said tersely. _ “As I was saying, the Docs were keeping track of everything about you. They monitored every hormonal imbalance through your puberty years, for fucks sake.” _

 

“I remember them sticking me with a shit ton of needles. What about it?”

 

_ “Well, I have a theory, but I need Melissa to do some tests before I can be sure.” _

 

Theo’s face darkened. “Oh yay, I would to love spend my lazy Saturday driving to Beacon Hills so I can be poked and prodded.”

  
  
  


 

The car ride was less than terrible. They didn’t talk much, just enjoying each other’s company. The mostly broken radio permanently stuck on the classic rock station created a soothing atmosphere.

 

They arrived in Beacon Hills at mid-afternoon. Theo parked the truck in the nearly-empty hospital parking lot. He looked nervous. “I still hate this place.”

 

Liam squeezed his hand. “I know, that’s why I’m coming with you. I’ll fight with you, if we need to.”

 

Theo nodded, steeling his face.

 

Liam held Theo’s hand as they walked in through the emergency entrance.

 

Melissa looked up from the desk. “Oh good, I was just looking for something to do.” She walked around the desk, gesturing for them to follow her. She led them into an exam room. “Take your boots off and step on the scale.”

 

She worked him up starting with height and weight, heart, lungs, blood pressure, and then taking several vials of blood. “Take off your shirt and lie down.”

 

“What? Why?” Theo asked, suspicious.

 

“Mason asked me to check your abdomen.”

 

“Did he give a reason?”

 

“All he said was he had a hunch.”

 

“Great.” Theo complied hesitantly, lying back on the exam table.

 

Melissa began applying pressure to various spots, starting just under his ribs. He winced when she got below his belly button.

 

“How long have you felt pain in your lower abdomen?” Melissa asked in her concerned mother voice, typing something out on her phone.

 

He sat up, pulling his shirt back on. “Couple days.”

 

“Does it happen every time your breasts grow?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Interesting….” She went back to typing. “Alright, I need to see you again after they disappear, for scientific purposes, apparently. For now though, you are free to go.”

  
  
  


 

Liam sat between Theo’s legs on one of the couches in the Geyer living room, his parents cleaning up dinner in the other room. The extra padding behind him still weirded him out, but at least it made this position more comfortable.

 

Theo was wearing another oversized sweatshirt, carefully avoiding any awkward conversations with Liam’s parents.

 

Liam’s phone beeped. He rummaged for it in his pocket, elbowing Theo in the process.

 

**Mason (7:46pm):** I need you to pick up the fairy book.

 

**Liam (7:47pm):** Where is it?

 

**Mason (7:49pm):** Stiles’s room, top shelf on the right. Brown leather, gold text.

 

**Liam (7:51pm):** Cool, we’ll pick it up on our way back.

 

“Aww, the puppy knows how to play fetch.” He felt Theo snickering. Liam may have elbowed him in the boob for it. No one can prove it though.

  
  
  


 

Theo woke up in pain. His gut felt like it was trying to fold into itself. He scrunched into a ball hoping to relieve some of it. The relief was fleeting, flaring up with every heartbeat.

 

Liam shifted next to him, placing a hand on his arm. “You okay?”

 

Theo let out a whimper, trying to breathe normally. The pain started to ease. His mind clearing enough to see the black veins on Liam’s arm.

 

“Fuck, what happened to you?” Liam’s voice was strained.

 

“I don’t know.” Theo sounded like a lost child. Tears fell out of his eyes.

 

Liam moved to cuddle him, pressing a kiss to the back of Theo’s neck. “It’s alright. We’ll fix this.”

 

Theo dozed off in Liam’s arms. Liam refused to let go, too worried the pain would become unbearable again.

  
  
  


 

Dawn broke and Theo stirred, the sun shining in his eyes. He rolled over, burying his face in Liam’s neck.

 

“Do you feel any better?”

 

“A bit, nothing I haven’t felt before.”

 

Liam frowned, but dropped the subject. “Mom is making pancakes downstairs, and I have needs.”

 

Theo grinned and made a mad dash to the door.

 

“Hey, wait for me!”

 

“Never, I’m going to eat them all myself!”

  
  
  


 

Liam’s mother set two plates on the table in front of them.

 

Theo sets to work piling on the toppings: fruit, chocolate syrup, cookie crumbs, whipped cream, and to top it all off, a light sprinkling of powdered sugar.

 

“You wanna slow down there Cookie Monster?” Liam stared, slightly disgusted by the amount of sugar on Theo’s plate.

 

“Cookie Monster eats cookies, not pancakes,” was the only response Theo gave before shoving a mound of sugar in his mouth.

 

Liam’s mom smiled at him. “I’m glad to see you’re feeling better, dear. You were awfully reserved last night.”

 

“Theo’s had a long week.”

 

“Is this another one of the supernatural things you refuse to tell me about?”

 

“Yes, but it’s more embarrassing than life threatening this time.”

 

She looked at Theo sadly; He was staring at his food, avoiding her gaze. “You’ve had such a hard life already. I’m going to go get last night’s brownies. You eat as much sugar as you’d like.”

  
  
  


 

Theo enjoyed spending time with Liam’s parents, but he couldn’t bear being near his mother for much longer. Something about her was making him worse. He was on the couch, knees to his chest, trying to look like he wasn’t in pain. Every fiber in his being telling him to flee.

 

“Right, babe?” Liam turned to him.

 

He had been spacing out, not even sure what the topic was. He just nodded, hoping that would suffice.

 

It didn’t work. Liam’s brows furrowed in concern. “Are you doing alright?”

 

Theo tried to keep the tears in, but they spilled out of his eyes anyway.

 

Liam reached out to stroke his face. “Can I do anything?”

 

“I just want to go home.” He sounded so broken. He hated everything about this situation. He felt horrible forcing Liam away from his parents, but he just couldn’t take it anymore.

 

“I’ll go grab our stuff and then we can go, okay?”

 

Theo nodded.

 

Liam’s mother snuck to the kitchen.

 

Liam and his mother returned at the same time, Liam with the bags, and his mother with a to-go cup of tea.

 

She handed it to Theo. “Chamomile tea. Drink it, it’ll help.”

 

Fantastic, another person to give him vague advice, as if he didn’t have enough of those. He took the cup anyway, trying to be as polite as possible to make up for the rude exit.

 

There were farewell hugs, and promises to call them later, and then they were in the truck, hurtling down the interstate. Liam drove, because Theo didn’t trust himself.

 

“You should take a nap or something.”

 

Theo rested his head on the window, enjoying the cool against his heated skin.

  
  
  


 

He intended to blink, but when he opened his eyes again the sky was dark.

 

“Welcome back to the living, sleepy head.”

 

“Where are we?” Theo asked, voice groggy with sleep.

 

“Still an hour out. Are you hungry?”

 

Theo’s stomach rumbled.

 

“Alrighty then.” Liam took the nearest exit, stopping at a diner.

 

They had just finished ordering when Liam’s phone rang. “Sup, Mase?”

 

_ “Please tell me you’re almost back to campus.” _

 

Theo’s head perked up. This can’t be good.

 

“We’re close, we just stopped for dinner.”

 

_ “Alright, come to our house when you get here, and make it fast,”  _ Mason said and hung up.

 

They hastened through dinner and sped the rest of the way.

  
  
  


 

They walked into Mason and Corey’s house to see Mason pacing through the living room.

 

“Do you have the book?”

 

“Yeah, here.” Liam handed him a small, leather-bound book titled ‘Brownies, Fairies, and Other Pains in my Ass.’

 

Mason took it from him and flipped through the pages. “I hope this works,” he mumbled.

 

“Please tell me what type of torture you’re about to put me through. Also, could someone explain what the hell is going on? Everyone seems to know what’s wrong with me, except me.”

 

Mason started pulling bags and bottles out of a buffet in the corner. “The Dread Doctors were on the right track. They just never put it together.”

 

“Wow, really cleared things up, thanks.”

 

Mason measured out each ingredient, checking the book again before dumping it in a bowl. “As far as I can tell, the fairy you met cast a gender swapping curse on you, but because you’re a chimera it got fucked up. If I’m right, the curse is trying to grow a uterus, and your super healing is suppressing it. If we let it continue you might implode.” He poured the last of the liquid into the bowl and stirred.

 

Theo and Liam’s jaws were on the floor when Mason turned around.

 

“Implode?!” Liam was not having this nonsense.

 

“I don’t know anything for sure. I am making all of this up on the spot.”

 

“So you have no idea if this will actually work.”

 

“You are correct.”

 

“What if this kills me?”

 

“Look, all I know is one of the other chimera’s died from overexerting his healing trying to regrow a limb. Take your pick, but the chances are fifty-fifty either way.”

 

Theo looked down at the bowl Mason was holding; The brown sludge was highly unappealing. He took a deep breath, taking the bowl from Mason. The mix was the texture of a milkshake, but tasted like shit. He chugged it and handed the bowl back to Mason.

 

Theo dropped to his knees. His insides twisted into knots, pulling and burning. He screamed, falling to the floor, writhing in pain.

 

“What did you do to him?!” Liam yelled, fear twisting into anger toward his friend.

 

Tears streamed down Theo’s face as he clawed himself, desperately trying to stop the pain. His eyes widened, eyebrows leaping for his hairline. He sucked in a breath, preparing for another scream, and promptly passed out.

 

“Oh god, did he die?!” Liam’s voice rose to its highest octave. He knelt down next to Theo, placing a hand on his cheek.

 

Mason checked for a pulse. “He’s still alive. Get him to the bed. I’m going to call Melissa.”

 

Liam scooped Theo up, carefully maneuvering his way through the tiny house. Gently, he placed Theo on the bed, sitting next to him. He stroked his hair, praying to every deity he could think of to get Theo through this.

  
  
  


 

Hushed voices and a warm hand in his, that’s what he noticed first. His eyelids felt as heavy as elephants. He managed one eye, wandering it around the unfamiliar room. It eventually stopped on the mop of hair by his leg.

 

“Liam?” He croaked.

 

The head shot up. Tears formed in Liam’s eyes. “Thank God. Oh fuck, I thought I lost you.”

 

“I’m atheist.” Theo finally forced the other eye open.

 

Liam giggled through his tears. “Not anymore, we belong to Mami Wata now.”

 

“Who?”

 

“She was the last deity on the wiki page.”

 

“You’re ridiculous,” Theo laughed; It turned into a coughing fit.

 

“I missed you,” Liam said before pressing a kiss to Theo’s lips.

 

“How long have I been out?”

 

“Two and a half days. Corey and Mason would really like their bed back.”

 

“Ah, I wondered where we were.”

 

The door creaked open, Mason’s head peeking in. “Is he awake?”

 

“Don’t ever do that to me again.”

 

“Sorry, I didn’t know it would be that bad.”

 

Theo started coughing again.

 

“I’ll go get some water.”

 

Mason’s head disappeared and was immediately replaced by Scott’s. “Hey bud, how you feeling?”

 

“Like frozen death.”

 

Something behind Scott thumped. He heard a cry of pain and then several people shushing them.

 

“I know you’re all there, you might as well come in.”

 

Scott opened the door, allowing the rest of the pack to file into the room. They assorted themselves on and around the bed, leaving just enough space to get around. All rooms looked small when this happened. Someone really needed to get a bigger house.

 

Everyone had come to see him, even Stiles had flown in from Virginia. Theo didn’t think Stiles even liked him.

 

Mason walked in last, carrying a tray of water and porridge. He waited for Liam and Scott to help Theo sit up before setting it on Theo’s lap.

 

“Almost die and all I get it is water and porridge.” He tried for a joking voice, but it came out far too dry. He sipped the water, hand barely able to hold up the glass.

 

“You can have whatever you want when we know you can handle food,” Mason told him sternly. Theo couldn’t tell if that was ‘doctor’s orders’ or his motherly instincts kicking in.

 

“You better be writing this shit down. I’m so tired of mystery science.” The porridge was boring, but it felt nice in his stomach.

 

He almost didn’t notice the lack of boob on his chest. The sports bra hung loosely around his torso, reminding him of what used to be.

 

“It worked?” Theo asked, hopeful and a little disappointed.

 

“Looks like it.”

 

“We don’t know for sure. It could come back, but at least now we know a way to stop it.”

 

“That’s better than nothing.”

 

The room lapsed into silence for a moment, everyone relieved that Theo had made it through.

 

Theo didn’t appreciate all the eyes on him. He moved the tray into Scott’s lap. “Liam, help me to the bathroom. I need to pee.”

 

The group kept their giggles to a minimum, while Theo and Liam shuffled to the bathroom.

  
  
  


 

When they returned, the bedroom was just about cleared out; Mason and Corey the only ones left, like normal.

 

Mason had passed out on the bed, exhausted from playing Dread Doctor all week. Corey was curled around him, eyes drooping.

 

Liam lowered Theo, sitting him on the bed.

 

“You’re my pillow tonight,” Theo demanded, staring up at Liam.

 

“Oh yeah, why is that?”

 

“This room smells weird and my ass fucking hurts from lying on it for three days. Now, lie the fuck down.”

 

“Promise not to smother me in boobs again?”

 

“That sounds like a story I want to hear,” Corey chimed in.

 

“Later. I can’t promise anything, but Malia and Lydia both left, so it’s unlikely to happen tonight.”

 

Liam shrugged. “Good enough, I guess.” He climbed in behind Theo, letting him nuzzle into his neck. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too,” Theo breathed in a yawn.

 

Liam was glad Mason had returned Theo back to normal. Something in him told him not to be too overjoyed, because Theo seemed kind of disappointed by the news. He was uncomfortable around the boobs at first, but if Theo wanted them, Liam could learn to love them. He loved Theo, so what’s another couple pounds of fat?

**Author's Note:**

> This was a trip.
> 
> I had fun writing this, and I hope you had fun reading it!


End file.
